As a Bacon Ambassador, my style is fairly limited. I’m pretty sure my Bacon tank top has turned sour, so I needed to get some threads that honored my craft. And what did I find? Well, just about the greatest shirt of all times!
I’m sure most of you go here already on a daily basis, but if not, here is a link to their site.
One of the most inspiring hairstyles I’ve seen in a long time, is what I call the “Meat Head”. Basically, you just drape a steak over your head. I’d suggest you wear this style at any tailgate party or is just perfect for the late summer cookout. And the best part is your don’t have to put gel in it, just splash a little A-1 Sauce on your hands and rub it in.
Trust me, don’t google Meat Curtains if you are looking for this. Instead, just click here, it’s $19.95 and adds more style to your bathroom those little toilet seat covers.
http://mookiegifts.com/meshcu.html
Wait, is my dream of having a meat friendly culture really coming to light? I started this one man meat movement a while ago, with my “COWS ARE BAD GRILL THEM ALL SHIRT” a couple of years ago. Someone once said “Art is a window into a culture”. Ok, I said that, but someone else probably said that too. But look at this work of art. Here you have 4 carnivore carnivial girls parading over a floor of steaks. I think you can all share my feeling of pride when you look at this.
On a side note, this is literally exactly what my dreams look like.
Well, it’s official, I’ve pretty much reached stalked status after the latest Jessica Simpson news. She was seen recently with her D-Bag boyfriend walking through the airport wearing a shirt that says “real girls eat meat”. Tony Homo…I mean Romo decided to keep his face covered. If it were me, I’d make sure everyone with a camera saw that I was at her side!!!!!
So the Meata Girl of the day goes to you Jessica Simpson. If you ever decide to leave Romo and get with a real man, I’d love to meat. I mean meet! 
Hello, my name is Mike, and I’m a meataholic. I think I first knew when I had a problem when I was about 15. I’d put slim jims inside the pencil holders in my backpack. OH….wrong blog.
Well Folks, I bring to you today, something that will awaken your spirit, entice your mind, and gross out your significant other. It’s Bacon Flavored Lip Balm. Now the real question is does this stuff have little chunks in it, or just the flavor. It’s hard to say for sure.
Man’s quest to be the biggest, strongest, and fastest has led us to behold some pretty amazing things. Tonight, I was doing my usual google searches for some pretty random thing; alternative bacon usage, beef facts, masters of meat (don’t do this one at work!) and so on. Well, I decided to search worlds largest hamburgers, and let’s just say, things got a little weird. I found this video on CBS of some dude that spent 4 months making/planning the worlds largest hamburger. Not only will you live forever in our hearts, and I mean that in the literal sense, with clogged arteries and such, but you will go down in the history books.
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There are few things that make me cry. The last part of Rudy……ok, really just that. BUT, this little slice of heaven really gets the waterworks-a-flowing! It’s basically a manag a trios (however you spell it) between every type of pork on the open market. The only thing that’s missing is a BBQ sauce IV Drip.
Let me introduce the players. All you have to do is go to the closest grocery store and buy everything that has pork in it. Pork Back, Hot Dogs, Bacon….the list goes on, but you get the idea.
The next steps I’ll skip but what you wanna do is form the pork into a pig-like shape. Once you have a rough swine like subject, you wrap the whole thing in bacon. WONDERFUL!
Once you have formed the pig and wrapped it in bacon, you toss that little piggy into the last market it’s ever gonna see. Cook it until it’s safe to eat (which technically is right away, because I’m pretty sure you can eat pork raw, right?) Take it out of the oven, and get a stick to keep the women off of you.
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I’m sure by now we have all seen that super yuppy talking about his business card is the BEST BUSINESS CARD IN THE WORLD! Well, you Patrick Bateman wannabe douche nozzle, your BEST BUSINESS CARD IN THE WORLD has been taken down a peg. There’s a new player on the court, and this one brings the heat meat!
It’s not Die Cut, it is not Foil Stamped, it’s not anything other than pure USDA Beef Jerky!
I love beef jerky, and I love when people give me things. So why not combine the two? Brilliant!
There is a massive paradigm shift in the business card world, and the forerunner is sweet sweet beef jerky!!!!!!! Thank you god!
**Below is an artist rendering of what this guy should be touting!
Here is what he would say
You see that card? It is THE most delicious business card I have ever seen. It’s mine. It took me 24 hours to cook this. This card is expensive, about $4 a card, because of the quality of beef. It doesn’t fit in a roladex, because beef jerky doesn’t go in a roladex. It’s the kind of thing where your card should be so delicious if they don’t like you, they’ll at least eat your business card. Because it demonstrates incredible dehydration capability. Life is not about being liked, it’s about eating beef jerky. My card is made of beef. My card is dehydrated. My card is teriyaki flavored. Beef Jerky Guarenteed, your kidding? My card, instead of telling you I’m a CEO, because who care about my title, is FREAKING MADE OF BEEF JERKY!!!! I make cards out of beef jerky! GUARANTEED! WHAT DO YOU DO GUARANTEED?!?!?!?!?!
That’s right my fellow meatatarians. It’s friday night and instead of going out to a bar, or taking a beautiful woman on a date, I decided to stay in and work on my meat blog! What the hell happened to my life?!?!
Ok, back to the topic at hand. I’ve got some sweet new threads available at my cafepress store. So go buy some stuff and help me pay my electric bill for god’s sake!!!!!!!!!
